Windows xp jokes tricks

Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean windows desktop dad jokes. There are also windows puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Wife: Windows frozen. Husband: Pour some warm water over them. Wife: Computer completely screwed up now. And he asks the salesman about car customization.

He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds: "Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go! He knocks on the drivers window, and the guy inside rolls it down.

The cop sees that there is a guy sitting in the front seat, fully clothed, and a girl in the back seat, also fully clothed. I'm only twenty. In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string?

Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit. Yes, Sir? I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep. Captain, shut up and land the plane. Personally I don't think I want to ride in a car without Windows. She's terrible at keeping your information safe, keeps promising new upgrades but really has been the same OS since 98, and is constantly trying to install herself when you're happy with the system you've been using for the last 8 years.

Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen, won't open. They all have different vocabulary. For instance; "Secure that building. Tell a soldier and he'll put up razor wire, sandbags, and machine gun nests. Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy.

She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing! When I opened the door he told me, "You should really cover your windows up," and handed me a business card. The United state president puts his hands out of the windows and says: "We are in the US! I just touched the Statue of Liberty" Some time passes, the French president puts his hands out and says out loud: "Now we are in France. I just touched the Eiffel tower". After a while the Brazilian president also puts his hands out of the Airplane and says: "Yes, we finally are in Brazil.

I just had my watch stolen". Asked a transgender co-worker why he won't upgrade from Windows 7 to He said he didn't like change. Everything was going great until they tried to install windows. Then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin? Do you want a corner office with windows?

Do you love to travel? If so, then become a bus driver! I went to the kitchen, and I looked up through the skylight windows. I then noticed a plastic Rite Aid bag that was stuck in a tree. My dad saw me looking up, and he asked me, "What are you looking at? She interrupted him and said: but I have one flaw you should be aware of: I fart alot! Like a lot! Did you make this project? Share it with us! I Made It! Remote Control Light Switch by alanmerritt in Arduino. Reply Upvote. If you want to manually restore a specific section of the registry from a previous System Restore snapshot, or access some specific keys from an older version of the registry, you can do so by getting access to those files and then exporting sections from them.

Have you ever opened the Control Panel in Windows 7 and thought there is no reason to have some of the icons listed? Today we take a look at how to remove unwanted or unneeded items from Control Panel in Windows 7. You could use a program like Unlocker, but we can tweak the Registry to hide items in Control Panel.

Aero Peek is one of the more useful new features in Windows 7… just move your mouse to the taskbar for half a second, and everything else hides so you can see the desktop or application window.

But why does it take half a second? The same thing should work for when you hover over an application window on the taskbar. Files are only deleted if they are older than 7 days old, but you can tweak that number to something else.

There are a lot of new users to Windows 7 who are not happy with the new Start Menu and wish they could revert to the Classic menu. Have you ever wanted to add the Recycle Bin to your My Computer screen? One of the first things you might notice in Windows 7 is the addition of the new Gadgets and Screen Resolution items to the context menu. Have you ever noticed that there are only two fonts to choose from in the Command prompt properties window?

What you might not know is that you can use a simple registry hack to enable alternate fonts, including a very readable font that comes with Windows 7, Vista, or Office If you use the built-in file encryption in Windows 7 or Vista, you might be interested in adding an option to the right-click menu to more easily encrypt and decrypt your files, rather than having to use the file properties dialog.

Thanks to a free app and some registry changes, however, you can make the default screensavers uniquely yours! You can customize the Bubbles, Ribbons, and Mystify screensaver to enable hidden options with this registry hack.

Customize the Default Screensavers in Windows 7 and Vista. Instead of getting a list of programs to open the file with, you get an annoying dialog asking you to use a web service to find a program. So how do we change this? You can use a registry hack to force Windows to skip this dialog altogether, and give you a list of applications to use to open the file instead, just as if you had selected the second option.

The caps lock key is one of those remnants of another age of computers, back when people used to shout at each other more often. A couple of days ago I noticed a thread on our forum asking how to add Control Panel to the desktop context menu, so I decided to write up the solution for everybody, since it seems like a really useful hack.

Enabling these verbose messages is not going to magically solve your problems, of course—the point is to use this to identify a problem, which you can then solve through other means, generally by uninstalling a problem application or upgrading a faulty driver.

By default you may notice that there is a slight delay when hovering your mouse over a Taskbar Thumbnail. Here is a neat registry hack that will allow you to speed it up. Would you like to clean up the Open with menu in Windows Explorer? This simple trick can help you keep your Open with menu tidy, and only show the programs you want in the list. Have you ever tried to unzip a file to the Program Files directory in Windows 7 or Vista?

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